The following is another of my poems that needs work. It isn’t as much of a train wreck as Truth’s Joy was, but it definitely could use some fine-tuning.
6a Magic speaks in whispers,
7b Running gently through the wood;
6c Prancing over rivers;
7c Refracting light in shivers.
6d Magic winks from flower,
7e Glinting off of crystal dew.
6f The sweetness in the air;
7f Painting colors barely there.
6g Magic enchants your eyes;
7h Playing just beyond the touch.
6i It brings the butterflies;
7i Gives warmth to the frosted bise.
6j Magic gives birds their song.
7k It binds the leaf to its tree.
6l The waterfall chimes clear
7l And over rocks, fairies peer.
TECHNICALLY the meter and rhyme are on point; however, when you read it, it doesn’t flow very well. The inflection is off. I’ve never paid deliberate attention to inflection, but it is what I need to work on next if I want to improve.