I’m very pleased with the progress that I have made in revising this poem. However, I don’t consider it fully revised yet….it feels incomplete somehow. I’m going to do further mulling this week, but for the moment, here is where she’s at:
6a Magic speaks in whispers,
7b Running gently through the wood;
7c It prances over rivers;
7c And refracts light in shivers.
6d It winks from each flower,
7e Glinting off of crystal dew.
7f ‘tis the sweetness in the air;
7f Painting colors barely there.
6g Magic enchants your eyes;
7h Playing just beyond the touch.
7i It beckons the golden bee;
7i And adorns the fruited tree.
6j It is the bird’s trilled song;
7k The pattern of growing moss.
7l In the shade it romances;
7l And in sunlight it dances.
As always, I encourage people to critique my work and share their thoughts. I don’t know exactly what needs to be changed or added to this poem, but, to me, it doesn’t feel quite done.